I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
True strength comes from lack of pants
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
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