3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
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