You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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