We're facebook friends in real life
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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