That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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