OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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