You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
