she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
