we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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