Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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