Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
