...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
