Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
smell my finger.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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