we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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