She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
