Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
