Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
