Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
