I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
