Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
