wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
