Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
