is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Randomize
