Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
The Olympian is in my bed
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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