I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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