I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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