It's like a parade of train wrecks.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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