I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
