oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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