he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Randomize