pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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