like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
