Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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