I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
