Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
