David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
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