we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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