I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
In America we eat man semen.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
