she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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