is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
