He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
