He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
