If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
