Who did Billy Mays play for?
it was like his penis was on wheels.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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