I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
