Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Success! We fucked roommates!
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
