You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize