I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
