I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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