you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
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My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
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I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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