You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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