I looked at my own cervix.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
