Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
