I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
