you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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