What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
