You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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