Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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