Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
