he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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