is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Randomize
