Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I have fence marks all over my body
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
