your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I'm having a debate with **** over whether or not he is gay... what's your verdict?
GAY or at the very least bisexual.
His "joking around" with all of his roommates is clearly as act. He needs to step back and reevaluate his sexual orientation.
Weird... you've rode him.
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
