And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
