Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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