Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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