There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize