Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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