I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Randomize
