don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
